firewatcher Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 Bright and early (OK, dark and raining but still way too early) after getting two grumpy boys off to school, I head blearily off to work (it is blowing rain like a gale.) Outside the front door is a friend/coworker who does not say good morning. He seems "off." Especially since he doesn't even attempt to hold the door open and my arms are full of stuff. We get inside where he promptly collapses in the front hall, asking someone to call 911 moaning:" help me." OK, instant wake up! He's having a heart attack. Fortunately, I am not the only one there and the paramedics arrive in time to save him...he was actually back at work today (after two stints and two days in the hospital ICU...He's insane!) Yesterday, another even closer friend and coworker was not at work...very odd for him. I find out today he has colon cancer! He's scared, obviously, and has to wait till next week for an MRI to see how far it's gone. My new computer came in yesterday (not my idea) and my dear husband set it up and lost every email I've ever gotten except those since yesterday. It has none of the programs I remember how to use and this teeny-tiny keyboard that feels like I'm typing on a calculator. My Grandmother fractured another vertebrae and my parents just left town to visit my brother..........Can I wake up now, whew I really wish all this was a bad dream. It has been a BAD week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbella Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 Sounds like you could use a great (((((BIG HUG))))) firewatcher. We did just go through a full moon with the effects lasting a fews days before and after.I always notice life gets full of drama for me that you'd think I was making it up at times.I hope next week is better for you. Do something nice for you this weekend. I wouldn'tdoubt if mercury is retrograde now the way things have been and communication is off.I must check my charts. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janiedelite Posted April 17, 2009 Report Share Posted April 17, 2009 Hugs to you!!! I hope things start lookin up soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 18, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 it got worse...My Grandfather had a heart attack today. They don't think he will make it through the cath procedure. His kidneys are failing and he has fluid around his heart. My Grandmother is melting down, understandably. Mental/emotional stress is just as bad as physical. Uncle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EarthMother Posted April 18, 2009 Report Share Posted April 18, 2009 Oh my goodness you poor dear. That's not a bad week, that a hospital drama TV series. My sincere thoughts are with your grandfather tonight.Holding you in the light.~EM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 Well, today the nephrologist confirmed end stage renal failure for my Grandfather, so if the heart cath doesn't kill him, the contrast will likely destroy his kidneys...my Grandfather wants to go ahead anyway. My Dad gets his MRI results back tomorrow to see if he has roller-shaded his knee tendon and my Grandmother has another MRI Tuesday, if my Grandfather survives tomorrow, to see how many more vertebrae she's fractured. We are a mess down here! I'm a bit numb. One of my boys came down with a cold, that I feel I am getting too, my neck glands are sore and swollen. I started my monthly 10 days early and my husband leaves town for a week tomorrow.........Uncle, aunt and cousin!!!!! Tap the mat!!! Throw in the towel! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janiedelite Posted April 20, 2009 Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 It does seem to hit all at once sometimes, doesn't it?! So sorry for all you're going through with your family. I hope you can take care of yourself, too! Janie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajw4790 Posted April 20, 2009 Report Share Posted April 20, 2009 Oh, my!!! Jeez! I will be thinking and sending positive thoughts to you and your family! That is way to much to deal with all at once! I wouldn't even know what to do. And I don't have kids, hubby relying on me etc... Hope things take a turn for the much BETTER very SOON!!! Take care of yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pat57 Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 I believe a big bowl of your favorite ice cream, daily, is in order.good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 I believe a big bowl of your favorite ice cream, daily, is in order.good luckI haven't had ice cream in almost two years! Or iced beverages. I am so cold intolerant I drink everything room temperature. I miss ice-cream. I miss iced tea. I miss tequila. My Grandfather came through the scan OK, he's got 80% and 60% blockages in his two remaining "open" arteries and even less in the renal arteries. The doctors are going to allow the dye to clear his system and for him to recover enough to make the decision of whether he will allow them to do anything or send him home. My Grandmother (who is well on her way into dementia) thinks that since he's still alive, they'll just go home and she'll "make him walk and do his exercises." She has her MRI tomorrow to see how many more vertebrae are collapsed. My Dad has a hematoma and torn knee meniscus and a sprained ankle. He hasn't slept more than 3 hours a night since Friday night. I hope I sleep OK tonight. I've been dreaming of work and feel like crying every morning when the clock goes off. I know it will be OK. Whatever that means Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxine Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Firewatcher! What can I say--------------------Definately sending positive vibes your way dear.Lot of prayers too!There seems to be some rough times for a few people lately, but I know it will turn around soon--- .I know you can't have the ice cream, but treat yourself to some other kind of comfort food. How about some french fries? That's my kind of comfort food, but I rarely eat them for obvious reasons (only on special occasions). They are my favorite-----especially homemade with the skins on-------LOTS OF SALT!BIG HUGMaxine :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 21, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Firewatcher! What can I say--------------------Definately sending positive vibes your way dear.Lot of prayers too!There seems to be some rough times for a few people lately, but I know it will turn around soon--- .I know you can't have the ice cream, but treat yourself to some other kind of comfort food. How about some french fries? That's my kind of comfort food, but I rarely eat them for obvious reasons (only on special occasions). They are my favorite-----especially homemade with the skins on-------LOTS OF SALT!BIG HUGMaxine :0)Thanks Maxine, I know you KNOW what all this is like, it is still very recent and raw for you. I appreciate your kindness and support! THis is the calm before the storm...we will know soon what my Grandfather intends to do as far as surgery (his odds aren't good either way, but so far he's been remarkably resilient, far beyond his own desires, I think.) My Grandmother has been mentally "leaving our world" for some time. Lately she just breaks down into anxious crying, begging us not to leave her. I feel for my Dad, it has been hardest on him, with both parents becoming truly invalid at the same time. They both stubbornly refuse assisted living or in home care, they only want him. They won't have a choice any more and I don't want to be within 25 miles of the hospital when he lets them know that will change soon. My friend with recently dxed colon cancer is openly scared with me, but is stubbornly hopeful. His doctor says they caught it in time. He also keeps asking how long I'll be at work, if I am coming in early, etc. I splurged and bought a pint of blackberries today. 22 years of a useless gallbladder killed my interest in french fries, I'd love to have rockyroad icecream, but I'd have to be sitting in a hot-tub to eat it and even then I'm sure my core temperature would drop. Gee that sounds decadent...eating Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream while sitting in a hot tub, it just needs Brendan Frasier to be complete! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxine Posted April 22, 2009 Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 Do keep us post on your grandmother and grandfather. I'll keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.It's so heartbreaking to watch a loved one slip away like that. This happened to my husband's father who had dementia from years of diabetes. My husband's mother was going between two nursing homes, as her father in law was in his late 90s, and also slipping away quickly. He passed away first, and then my husband's father a couple years after----My husband's Dad was in his 40s when my husband was born------they had 8 kids, and my husband was the 6th, and the twins made eight. My husband was only 33 when his dad died. It was harder to watch him slip away and not recognize his wife and children. I hope your grandparents get the help they need, and they soon realize they need to accept the help. Of course it hard to help your grandmother understand this when she's slipping into another world.I love blackberries, but they are hard for me to pass with the excessive diverticuli in my large intestine, and the big one in my duodeum. I still eat them on occasion though. I love them on top of frozen yogurt. I'm grateful I can tolerate cold foods, ice cream ect. When I drink frozen drinks I do get esophagus freeze-----lol----------kind of like brain freeze----but in the esophagus---------ugggggg, painful. The cold feels good on the back of my throat, and helps my upper neck and lower head pain from the inside out---------so temporary though, but good for a quick fix to get me home and on an ice pack. Ahhhhh, the things we find to help s adapt. I don't tolerate temperature extremes either----especially the heat. The cold weather is hard too. HUGS,Maxine :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2009 Well..........The doctors have sent my Grandfather home. They said that it was too risky to do ANY surgery and there is nothing more that they can do. They did not give him a time frame as to how long his kidneys will hold out. My Grandma thinks he's "better now." At least my Dad, Aunt and their doctor have agreed and set up in-home healthcare. His insurance (he has been retired for 40 years!) will pay for 80% of in home care, my Grandfather never checked because he did not want it. He doesn't decide anymore. Hopefully they'll have someone by Saturday. The crisis is over for now, but with my Grandmother acting the way she does, I'm not sure how long someone will stay with them. Thank you all so much for the support. It means so much! I don't think I realized how much emotional stress acts on the ANS, and that it is just as destructive as physical stress or illness. I feel like I need a week of sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted April 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2009 One week stretches into two...All the tests are back now:My grandfather's kidneys are gone. He was told yesterday that they had not yet cleared the dye from his cath a week ago and as his function continues to decline, he will slip into a coma and die. He simply said "that sounds good."My grandmother fractured another vertebrae, this one further up. Her doc told her that if this continues at its pace, she'll be bedridden soon.My friend goes into surgery tomorrow for his colon cancer. His doc says they caught it early, but they still don't know how far it has spread.Life ends, we can't stop that. Life continues, all I can do is make the best of each day given to me.Thanks for the support, next week will probably be another tough week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted May 3, 2009 Report Share Posted May 3, 2009 Big hugs for you, firewatcher.You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.Rachel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunfish Posted May 12, 2009 Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 so sorry to hear all that you & your family are dealing with at the moment. definitely one of those "when it rains it pours" situations and NOT easy no matter how you cut it. and nothing to say to make it better, okay, etc. it sounds like you're doing remarkably well considering. which is not to say that it isn't still horribly tough as it obviously is. i did want to mention the possibility of hospice to you though. they would be able to offer SO much at the moment for BOTH of your grandparents as well as the entire family. i HIGHLY recommend you look them up as i'm sure you wouldn't be sorry to have them on board. if you have any questions before feeling comfortable with contacting them feel free to let me know as i'm pretty aware of what/ how they provide/ work.here's sending prayers & good thoughts to you & your family for days that are a peace-filled as possible during this difficult time.all the best, melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted May 12, 2009 Author Report Share Posted May 12, 2009 Thanks, as some of you know, I had strep last week. Oh, and the tail end of a tornado took out two of the largest trees in our yard! (Thank GOD there was no structural damage, but the yard is crushed and we were not counting on the expense of having two 16+ inch diameter, 70 foot tall trees removed.) It just gets better and better. My grandparents REFUSE hospice or assisted living. Apparently my grandfather has some extremely good insurance that covers in-home care and some VA benefits, but had refused to file for either. My Dad and Aunt just have had it and filed on his behalf anyway...so now they have in-home care. My grandmother has already run off the first lady (less than a week) and is working on the second. She is having panic attacks now, as well as trying to "force-feed" my grandfather! It is just a matter of time before the tipping point comes and they have to be put in assisted living or a nursing home (at the rate they are going.) When that happens, it will get ugly. All any of us can do is support my Dad, he's getting the brunt of it and they don't trust anyone else. I pray that my boys grow up to be as good a son to their parents as my Dad is to his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firewatcher Posted July 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 My Grandfather passed away last night. Yesterday he finally slipped into a coma, last night he stopped breathing. It was a blessing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
potsgirl Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 My deepest condolences on the passing of your grandfather. You have been such a blessing to so many of us here on the Forum, that I know many of us would love to be able to be there for you in support and give you nice warm hugs. Please draw strength from those of us on the Forum who are thinking of you and sending our thoughts your way.Take care of yourself,Jana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janiedelite Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 Oh, I'm so sorry. But I understand how your grandfather's passing is a blessing in a way, too. Sending prayers for peace for you and your family... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinkerbella Posted July 7, 2009 Report Share Posted July 7, 2009 i'm so sorry to hear your sad news.you're in my thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. please remember to take care of yourself.blessings and love~bellamia~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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